“It can actually be easier to be in a relationship with someone controlling, for example, because they don’t really see 'you'. So while it may be unsatisfactory, it’s safe because you’re not fully there, you’re less exposed. But when you’re with someone who is actually letting you be you, not playing games, it’s more confronting—the fear is that you have to be seen."
http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/07/how-to-avoid-self-sabotage-in-a-relationship-alice-williams/
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